What to Know When Dating Someone With Bipolar Disorder

You’ve met someone that you’d like to spend more time with, and in the course of your initial conversations they mention that they have bipolar disorder. Is it wise to pursue a relationship with someone who has this condition? What should you know before dating someone with bipolar disorder?

If you or a loved one are struggling with mental health, don’t wait—call us or verify your insurance now to get the support you deserve.

What Is Bipolar Disorder?

Bipolar disorder is a complex, oft-misunderstood mental health condition. As its former name (manic-depressive disorder) suggests, bipolar disorder is characterized by sudden and dramatic shifts in mood, attitude, energy, and related characteristics.

Episodes and Symptoms

People with bipolar disorder may experience one or more of the following:

• Manic episodes: Periods of at least a week during which they may exhibit symptoms such as heightened self-confidence, excess energy, little need for sleep, poor impulse control, and reckless behaviors
• Hypomanic episodes: Similar to manic episodes, but symptoms may be slightly less intense and only last for four days
• Major depressive episodes: Periods of at least two consecutive weeks that can be marked by symptoms such as persistent sadness, low energy and motivation, diminished confidence, and thoughts of death and dying

Types of Bipolar Disorder

Though many people commonly refer to bipolar disorder as a single condition, the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) actually contains entries for three distinct versions of this disorder:

• Bipolar I disorder: To be accurately diagnosed with bipolar I disorder, you must have had a manic episode. You may also have hypomanic and/or major depressive episodes, but these are not requirements for this diagnosis. 
• Bipolar II disorder: The diagnostic criteria for this version of bipolar disorder include both hypomanic and major depressive episodes.
• Cyclothymic disorder: involves both hypomanic and major depressive symptoms. However, neither lasts long enough to qualify as a full episode. To be diagnosed, a person must experience recurring hypomanic and major depressive symptoms for at least two years.

What to Know When Dating Someone With Bipolar Disorder

Here are answers to four common questions about dating someone with bipolar disorder:

1. Is it Safe to Date Someone With Bipolar Disorder?

One of the more unfortunate myths about bipolar disorder and other mental illnesses is that people with these conditions automatically pose a threat to others. In reality, individuals with mental health disorders are more likely to be victims than perpetrators of violence and abuse.

As with any relationship, you should evaluate a person with bipolar disorder based on their behavior patterns, not just their diagnosis. Could someone with bipolar disorder be abusive? Yes, but so could someone without any history of mental illness.

If you are thinking about dating someone with bipolar disorder, take your time to get to know them first. Observe how they act toward you and others. Then, make an informed decision.

2. How Can I Best Support My Partner?

The best way to determine what type and level of support your partner needs is to ask them. (As with our answer to the previous question, this can apply to anyone you’re dating, regardless of if they have bipolar disorder or not.)

With the understanding that there are no standard forms of support that are appropriate for everyone who has bipolar disorder, here are a few general tips that can help:

• Educate yourself about bipolar disorder, which you’ve already started to do by reading this post.
• Have open and honest conversations with your partner about how they’ve been affected by their disorder and what you can do to help.
• Understand that, especially early in your relationship, there may be aspects of their condition that they’re not ready to talk about yet.
• Demonstrate through your words and actions that you are a safe and supportive person.
• Establish and maintain healthy boundaries – and be specific about what you will and will not tolerate.
• Practice self-care and remember that your wants and needs matter, too.
• Consider couples therapy if your relationship progresses beyond a few casual dates.

3. What Types of Challenges Should I Expect?

Potential challenges when dating someone with bipolar disorder can include:

• Desire for intimacy can fluctuate considerably depending on whether a person is in the midst of a manic, hypomanic, or major depressive episode.
• Sometimes, if a person hasn’t experiencing disruptive symptoms for a while because their medication is working, they think they’re “cured” and don’t need to take the meds anymore. This can quickly lead to a reemergence of symptoms.
• People with bipolar disorder have an increased risk of substance abuse and addiction. If your partner begins to self-medicate with alcohol or another drug, that can be harmful to your relationship as well as to their physical and mental health.
• Bipolar disorder is also unfortunately linked with an increased risk of suicidal thoughts. If you believe that your loved one is in danger of attempting to end their own life, don’t ignore your suspicions. Ways to help include talking to them about your concerns, alerting close family members and trusted friends, and contacting the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline for additional support.

4. Is There Anything I Should Avoid Doing?

When you’re dating someone with bipolar disorder, knowing what not to do can be just as valuable as determining how you can best support therm. Here are a few points to consider:

• Don’t define or judge them on their disorder or symptoms alone
• Don’t excuse unacceptable behaviors simply because they have a mental health condition
• Don’t enter the relationship with the goal of curing or “saving” them
• Don’t push them to talk about topics they’re not ready to discuss with you yet 
• Don’t neglect your own physical and mental health 

Find Bipolar Disorder Treatment in Atlanta

Valor Behavioral Health is a trusted provider of life-affirming outpatient care for adults and adolescents who have been living with bipolar disorder and other mental health conditions. We also serve patients whose mental health struggles are accompanied by co-occurring substance use disorders (addictions).

Our bipolar disorder treatment center in Atlanta, GA, is a safe and supportive place where patients receive customized outpatient services from a team of skilled and compassionate professionals.

To learn more about how we can help your loved one, please visit our Admissions page or call us today.